Comment on the differences between the two drafts. How and why is revising for these brief passages important? How and why is diction (choices about words) important? Given the historical context of 1861, can you speculate about specific reasons changes were made? Comment on the rhetorical effectiveness of each of the two drafts.
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One obvious difference between the two documents is the first draft contains paragraphs two and three but for some reason in the final text it is not there. Other differences can be noticed while evaluating the draft and final text very closely such as; comma use, word usage and placement, also more precise of simplex explanations of some comments that may be difficult to understand. For Example at the end of paragraph 8 the comment [when lawfully demanded, for whatever cause] this comment was added to precisely state that there can be a revision to the constitution if lawfully demanded, it stops any confusion. Also unlike the draft the final text some what seems like it’s dumbed down because he is obviously addressing uneducated masses as well as intellectual ones. Revising the passages is very important because of comprehension, possible insults, and audience reaction; certain word usage can sway any of these affects. Rhetorically the final text is correct it analyzed different effects and changed any displeasing sections. Like I said before during 1861 many weren’t as educated today, it want as important so the address must be strong and effective not only for intellectual beings but uneducated masses as well.
One obvious difference between the two documents is the first draft contains paragraphs two and three but for some reason in the final text it is not there. Other differences can be noticed while evaluating the draft and final text very closely such as; comma use, word usage and placement, also more precise of simplex explanations of some comments that may be difficult to understand. For Example at the end of paragraph 8 the comment [when lawfully demanded, for whatever cause] this comment was added to precisely state that there can be a revision to the constitution if lawfully demanded, it stops any confusion. Also unlike the draft the final text some what seems like it’s dumbed down because he is obviously addressing uneducated masses as well as intellectual ones. Revising the passages is very important because of comprehension, possible insults, and audience reaction; certain word usage can sway any of these affects. Rhetorically the final text is correct it analyzed different effects and changed any displeasing sections. Like I said before during 1861 many weren’t as educated today, it want as important so the address must be strong and effective not only for intellectual beings but uneducated masses as well.
It's often said that "writing is rewriting". Lincoln's First Inaugural Address illuminates the validity of this statement. In the first drafts, the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs expound upon the "Chicago Platform". These were cut out; in a time when Southern democrats thought that Republicans would destroy their lifestyle, it would have been foolish to dwell on political differences. Smaller alterations on made on page 88. Several sentences are shorterned, adding power and punch. On the end of pg. 89-beginning of pg.90, however, Lincoln elaborates on the idea of nonviolence. With tensions between the North and South at an all-time high, pushing peace was crucial. The president also altered a paragraph on pg.91 that claimed, "surrender would be thee ruin of the government itself". The first also encourages faith in the "utimate justice" doled by God. These concepts seem unyielding. They are placed by paragraphs that illuminate how democracy is the people's government. Lincoln states, "This country...belongs to the people who inhabit it". Again, this idea was better medicine for the wounded nation. Finally, the President changed his conclusion. He focuses less on taking time and more the the matter of the day: encouraging peace. Lincoln revised his address to fit the social and polticial tensions of the era. The changes were rhetorically effective, and while it did not prevent the Civil War, the peace-focused speech shed the federal government in a better light.
While reading through the first draft and final text of Lincoln's first Inaugural Address, it's easy to observe that in the final text, paragraphs from the first draft were omitted and other new ones were added. For example, "The more modern custom of electing a Chief Magistrate upon a previously declared platform of principles, supercedes, in a great measure, the necessity of repeating those principles in an inaugural address" and so on... might have been eliminated in the final text because it explains in depth how becoming president "binds him to nothing either unconstitutional or inexpedient" and Lincoln may have figured that the people are already aware that the president should be ready to face duties. He changes a few words around to make his sentences flow and paint a clearer,simpler picture for his audience, for example changing "say more that I have, in relation to" to simply just "discuss". Adding the section about making certain that citizens of each state shall be entitled to all privledges and immunities of citizens in the several states shows Lincoln's views about liberties of the people. Eliminating a few words here and there or adding new shorter words allowed him to express his thoughts in first person and present time (as he was giving the speech). Throughout the passages, Lincoln's strong diction showed that he had an educated political voice and was ready to fulfill the duties as president. He references the Constitution several times and discusses the values of the people of The United States. In his first draft, he mentions the states, if not all, withdrawing from the Union, have declared the supposed grievances which impelled them to the separation. He changes this by saying "I do not forget the position assumed by some, that constitutional questions are to be decided by the Supreme Court...". Changing this would show that Lincoln wasn't trying to provoke conflict with the issue of secession of states right away and also represents his willingness to please both the North and the South. Lincoln believed that if the Union fell apart, the system of government of the United States, based on the Principles of the Enlightenment, would be proof of failed democracy. In my opinion the final draft is easier to comprehend obviously due to the changes. Eliminating a couple sentences and adding new phrases to simplify his thoughts allowed the document to flow well. Although it's not the most interesting work I've ever read, I realize that it is an important part of our history that we should be aware of and analyze. = ]
The two drafts are different. In the first draft, he talks about presidency having a certain platform to run on. It explains the platform that he decided to run on and he followed it. He was a Republican and the time that he wrote this, it would have divided the north and south even more. It would have made more people angry at him so he decided to omitt this section in this second text. During this time period a lot of people would not be supportive of him being a republican. On page 92, in the first text, "The Republican party, as I understand, have avowed the purpose to prevent, if they can, the extension of slavery, under the national auspicces; and upon the arises the only dispute between the sections." Again, Lincoln omitted the part about the Republican. So, Lincoln seemed as if he wanted to hide the fact that he is Republican because he doesn't want people to dislike him. He wants their support and he is willing to change his ideas to do this.
As carlym said above, Lincoln's final text of the Inaugural Address seemed to be somewhat easier to understand. The change of vocabulary on the bottom of page 89 was interesting to me. In the first draft Lincoln said, "All the power at my disposal...". In the final draft it was changed to "The power confided in me...". By changing that small fragment Lincoln actually sounded less controling. Also by saying, "The power confided in me...", Lincoln shows that he knows that the voters trust him and he will do his best to fullfill their expectations. On page 92 Lincoln adds a small piece to the topic sentence of the first full paragraph on that page. Instead of saying, "One section believes slavery is...", it states, "One section of our country believes slavery is...". The addition of this simple phrase presents that Lincoln views the country as a complete whole and not just north and south. Other small fragments like that added so much more to the address. Also, things that were taken out may have prevented confusion and harsh feelings. Overall, Lincoln's final draft was more logical and easier to comprehend.
The first thing I noticed that was different about the two drafts is the major chunk taken out of it on the first page, the second and third original paragraphs. Those paragraphs are rather mundane and repetitive, and I could see why they were taken out. There are also many groups of [] in the piece, either adding better, more effective diction or taking out poorer, less effective diction. For example, on page two near the bottom, Lincoln's first draft writes, "Now, if they would [all begin] in good temper, could they not, with [something like] nearly equal unamimity, frame and pass a law, [through] which to keep good that unanimous oath?" In his final draft, it is changed to, "Now, if they would [make the effort] in good temper, could they not, with nearly equal unanimity, frame and pass a law, [by means of] which to keep good that unanimous oath?" By changing the wording to 'make the effort' Lincoln makes it seem as if it is a job, a responsibility, duty of slaves to comply, making it more effective as it seems like they need to do their part also. There are several other places in the address where the diction changes to make it more effective.
In the first draft and final text of the First Inaugural Address by Abraham Lincoln, it appears the only differences between them are the fact that some paragraphs were exempt and others incorporated. The second and third paragraphs from the first draft are excluded. Lincoln says "I do not consider it necessary, at present, for me to [discuss] those matters of administration about which there is no special [anxiety, or] excitement" (pg 86). The paragraphs are not necessary, for they would cause more tension between the democratic and rebublican parties. What Lincoln wants is an agreement, not a misunderstanding between politicians. On page 88, Lincoln adds a paragraph for emphasis on freedom for all, "The citizens of each STate shall be entitled to all privileges and immunities of citizens in the several States". Adding this section helps back his opinions on slavery and equality. This evidence is needed because people back normally did not change their minds unless they had a reasonable explanation to do so. Through-out the text, Lincoln changes words to make his document more effective. In his conclusion, Lincoln states "we must not be enemies." He explains why breaking friendships can ruin the Union and what the country has to do to keep the bond tight. ..I'll add more later, but right now I am going to be late to my soccer game =/
After reading through both the first and final copies, one finds that there are some noticeable differences between them. The first major difference is the two paragraphs about the "Chicago platform". These two were taken out, probably because of the politically instability of the country at the time. It would not have been a wise choice to talk about the differences between political parties of the time. He also takes out another paragraph on page 92. This one talks about the Republican party, so was probably removed for a similar reason. He has other small changes here and there. Some to add more flavor and meaning to his speech.
One reason Lincoln may have made his final speech shorter is that he did not want to seem hypocritical because his first line states, "I appear before you to adress you briefly" He wants to get his point across as quick as possible. Mary Rose makes an even further argument as to why he changed parts of his speech just becasue of the events at the time. Small alteration, may be miniscule but to the examinative listener can have a huge impact and many people can be skeptical of a new president.
After reading Lincoln's First Inaugural Address, it's clear that the first draft was revised due to the state of the country at the time. These changes wwere made to promote peace. Several times, Lincoln recalls the beliefs and values that as a country, America holds sacrely. The mentioning of these values relate back to the promotion of peace. This is exactly the way the government would effectively want to handle the situation they were facing at the time. The situation was simply the division of the country. More specifically, dividing the north and the south. "The Republican party, as I understand, have avowed the purpose to prevent, if they can, the extension of slavery, under the national auspicces; and upon the arises the only dispute between the sections." After the revision, there is no mention of the Republican party. This is a direct result of the division amongst the nation. Mentioning a particular party would only have "stirred the pot" more than it already has been. Without the revisions, Lincoln's First Inaugural Address would not have been properly effective at all. In fact, it might have even made the situation worse. As MaryRose said, it did not prevent the Civil War. However; it was an attempt that the government clearly needed to make since it was lossing peace throughout the nation.
Lincoln makes several key revisions from his first draft of his Inaugural Address. This is important because it shows his changing feelings as he wrote his address to the United States. The first thing he does is cut two paragraph out on page 86. Everything from,"The more modern custom," to, "expectations of the country," are removed from his speech. He removes these parts from his speech because he decided that the people who were watching this speech already understood what the president should stand for and they also know what his opinion on many topics, so there is no reason to repeat them. Another large revision is made on page 89 and 90. Lincoln is hinting at the fact that a Civil War was possible but that he would not allow anyone to break out of the Union. He says, "Hostility to the United States, in any interior locality, shall be so great and so universal, as to prevent competent resident citizens from holding the Federal offices." By this he means that any attempt to leave office, or secede, will not be allowed and will likely be punished by loss of office. His choice of words is very unique in the fact that he references God in a few sections. This is simply just a change in times because many Presidents would not do that for risk of offending some citizens. The ending is also changed. He does this simply to make the passage flow better. In his first draft the questions come first and then the answers. In his revision he states his topics and then uses the questions as a rhetorical strategy to entice the listeners' attention. Many small changes were made simply to give the speech a better flow and to not over analyze small topics. The final draft flows much better than the first draft and is easier to read.
I agree with Carly & Mary Rose that it’s easy to see how Lincoln reshaped his speech from the first to second draft. Like Carly said, a lot of the changes he made were minor or superficial, and just involved streamlined his ideas into shorter sentences, like changing “A disruption of the Federal Union is menaced, and, so far as can be on paper, is already effected. The particulars of what has been done are son familiar and fresh...” etc, to just “A disruption of the Federal Union heretofore only menaced, is now formidably attempted.” (88). However, I think some of Lincoln’s small changes in diction have more importance than either Carly or Mary Rose give credit for. For example, changing “think proper” to “choose” on pg. 88 makes Lincoln sound more decisive and in charge, while changing “submit” to “acquiesce” on pg. 91 makes the possibility of the South giving up seem less demeaning for them. Perhaps this was an attempt at peace?
I don’t really agree with the reasons people have given for cutting out the second and third paragraphs. It can’t be to gloss over the idea that Lincoln is a Republican, because shortly after where those paragraphs would have gone, Lincoln mentions “the accession of a Republican administration,” and goes on to restate his belief that “I have no purpose, directly on indirectly, to interfere with the institution of slavery in the States where it exists.” Also, many speeches were reprinted in the paper where uneducated people would be able to see them, and they would like to know how their government works. I think it was because those two paragraphs have a bit of a defensive tone to them (“Having been so elected upon the Chicago Platform…I hold myself bound by duty, as well as impelled by inclination to follow…the principles therein declared.”), and Lincoln didn’t want to start off his speech on such a defensive note.
When you look at the piece at a whole, it is clear that it was very rhetorically effective from the beginning. This is obvious because the majority of Lincoln’s revisions were minor ones that simply altered a sentence or a paragraph. However, his revision of the last paragraphs strengthened the rhetorical effectiveness of his piece by a long shot. Lincoln rearranged his ideas to recognize the authority of the people first, added his thoughts on the convention mode, which “allows amendments to originate with the people themselves” (93), then talked about the limitations of the government’s power “While the people retain their virtue, and vigilance, no administration…can very seriously injure the government…) (94), making it more clear than the first draft that the issue was in the people’s hands. Finally, the new ending paragraph is simply brilliant-by mentioning “battle field[s]” and “patriot grave[s]”, Lincoln touches his audience’s patriotism, while the phrase “will yet swell the chorus of the Union” makes a beautiful image and paints the Union as strong and lasting, and makes the people want to keep it that way.
The final draft differs from the first because certain phrases were deleted to either shorten the sentences and get to the point faster or because of awkward phrasing. Some were also added to elaborate more. It's important to revise because it sorts out thoughts and completes them (elaboration). Diction is important because it helps convey the tone of the written piece. For example if strong, harsh words are used then the tone is harsh and insensitive. The choice of words also may be used to relate to the intended audience. During the 1860's there was tension between the north and the south and Lincoln may have made certain revisions as to not upset the differences between the north and the south any more.
-Alese K.
There are various differences between the first and final drafts of Lincoln's First Inaugural Address. However, the majority of these differences are, for the most part, fairly minor. Alot of them are nothing more than the addition or omission of a few select words or paragraphs (for instance, the omission of the word "constitutional" on page 91 and the addition of "guaranties and prohibitions" on page 90 towards the bottom of the page). Some of his sentences are changed around a little as well. Pherhaps this is because, as Carly M. said, "to paint a clearer, simpler picture for his audiance", or perhaps this is because it just sounded better. I mean, we can't forget this speech was read aloud and sometimes a writer realizes that the words might sound fine on paper, but sound a bit awkward or confusing when actually spoken. All of that aside, the biggest change is obviously the conclusion. The new order of the paragraphs allows the conclusion to sound more organized and the addition of the final, small paragraph is what really makes the speech. It proves Lincoln really is for peace and ultimately wants to please both the North and the South. Through his strong diction (which shows his audiance that he is not only educated, but that he knows exactly what he is talking about) and use of rhetoric, Lincoln is able to deliver an effective speech.
There are a few differences in the two drafts. Obviously, in the first draft, there are a few extra paragraphs that do not appear in the final text. Lincoln possibly took these out beccause they arent as important, and seem to repeat themselves. Also, the last paragraph added in the final text was very rhetorically effective, and even persuasive to American citizens at the time to maybe join the war, especially when he said, "The mystic chords of emory...by the better angels of our nature." This quote also provided good imagery. Finally, one more difference in the two texts was the use of vocabulary, as carleyw said. It is almost as if Lincoln tried to keep the final draft simpler than the first draft.
Lincoln's inauguration was a controversial moment for the United States; the country was on the verge of a civil war and several states had threatened to secede if he were elected. Lincoln knew this and knew that his speech could potentially cause or eliminate more controversy. In his first draft, he mentioned his party's platform, but did not directly say what it was to prevent angering the South. In his final draft, he decided to remove that section completely. This avoided openly stating his position against the South. Lincoln also elaborates on concepts of peace and freedom, which were more tasteful for a country on the verge of a Civil War. In considering his audience, Lincoln had to revise his Inaugural Address to avoid stirring the already bubbling controversy that separated the North from the South. Though he was a Republican, he did not preach Republican ideals, but tried to sooth the political tension. He also rearranged some of his sentences and words to make the speech more flowing and interesting. Both are rhetorically effective, however, the final draft is more appropriate and less risky than the first.
As many other students stated, it's very easy to see the alterations made to Lincoln's First Inaugural Address". I've noticed at many instances where Lincoln changed just a few words, rahter than an entire paragraph. For example, on the second page, the first draft reads, "...through which to keep good that unanimous oath?", where the final draft reads, "by means of which to keep good that unanimous oath?". I believe these alerations make his speech sound more intelligent to the audience. Obviously, another huge revision was the second and third paragraphs from the first draft. I can see why they were taken out, because they seem very repetitive. Revisions such as these are very crucial to the effectiveness of the speech. Without editing a piece, things may be repeated, left out, or may not make any sense at all. In any case, diction is very important. Diction makes all the difference to an audience. With the way you choose your words, you can sound like you're talking to a class of fifth graders or talking to the President of the United States. Also, as chelseac said, it seems like Lincoln tried to keep the final draft simpler than the first one. I think this is because most Americans of the time were uneducated, and he wanted them to fully understand what he was trying to say. I believe his word choices and paragraphs are appropriate for the time, rhetorically effective, and get across to the audience. Many of the paragraphs, subtly and not, speak of peace, which is just what America needed in the time of war. The peace idea probably appealed to most Americans.
While reading through the first drafts, it was easy to tell that paragraphs were taken out and new ones were put in all throughout the address.He changes many words around to make the sentences flow together and sound better.Adding the section about making certain that citizens of each state shall be entitled to all privledges and immunities of citizens in the several states shows Lincoln's views about liberties of the people. Not only does changing the words make a difference, he changes sometimes completely what he was talking about.In the first draft, he talks about presidency having a certain platform to run on. Considering what he had written he thought that many citizens of the united states who counted on him, would become angry with him so he discarded this portion of the text. His final draft, with all the revisions were easier to compromise and a better gathering of his thoughts.
Lincoln made a few revisions to his final draft of his inaugural speech. Like many people already said, they were pretty minor changes. Mainly things such as the wording were changed to get the point across faster or to delete paragraphs that seem to repeat themselves. Also, the final draft seemed much easier to comprehend than the first draft. He also took out the paragraphs that may have angered the south, such as the paragraphs on the “Chicago Platform”, since he was elected at a very shaky time with the country on the verge of a civil war. There are also places in the final draft that he changes the diction so that it is more effective. One of the main changes Lincoln made was the conclusion of the final draft. It is much more organized and rhetorically effective. He says, “will yet swell the chorus of the Union”, which, like frielc said, paints a good image and portrays the Union as strong so people will want to keep it that way instead of go to war. He also states about this subject, “we must not be enemies”, to further instill the idea of peace into the citizens minds.
After Reading Both Drafts of Lincolns First Inaugural Address It is obvious that there are some notable differances Between the two.The finished address avoided any mention of the Republican Party platform Because like maryrosec said " in a time when Southern democrats thought that Republicans would destroy their lifestyle, it would have been foolish to dwell on political differences." So Lincoln Did not want the South to think that Rebulicans Would Take them over. Diction is very Important In this Address , Because if you use the wrong words then you Might upset a certain group of people
(My Apologies For this being late, as my internet was not working)
(When I attempted to post this last night, my pop-up blocker or something caused it to not work. I did click on submit, but apparently it didn't work; I wasn't sure it didn't work at the time. I copied it in case it didn't work out, and the text below is what I wrote... Sorry that it is late)
To keep this assignment interesting for myself, I read both texts outloud as if I was giving the speech. I noticed that the final text flowed much better than the first. The diction is important here, primarily because it is what makes the text easier to understand from the audience's perspective. Besides cleaning up words and making flow easier, Lincoln also took into account the sensitivities of the South in his revised text, by removing the points focused on political difference. Also, Lincoln used his words to unify in his second text, with his conclusion that we are not enemies, but friends. I believe he did this to promote peace between the North and South. While both texts were effective rhetorically, by cleaning up the flow, and addressing the issue of peace more solidly, the revised text is much more effective.
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